Fruitcake Recipe

(Just in time for Christmas, next year!)

Fruitcake Recipe
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 gallon whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1-cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1-teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whishkey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, shift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now shift the lemon juish and strain your nuts.
Add one tableshpoon of sugar or shomething. Whateveryou can find.
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degreesh or whatever.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whishkey again.
Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway.

Don't try it, little drinking at Christmas